Ode to Texas
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Head Like a Hole - NIN
Ode to Texas

    The devil wanted a place on earth
    Sort of a summer home
    A place to spend his vacation
    Whenever he wanted to roam.
    So he picked out Texas A place both wretched and rough
    Where the climate was to his liking
    And the cowboys hardened and tough.

    He dried up the streams in the canyons
    And ordered no rain to fall
    He dried up the lakes in the valleys
    Then baked and scorched it all.

    Then over his barren country
    He transplanted shrubs from hell.
    The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
    The climate suited them well.

    Now the home was much to his liking
    But animal life, he had none.
    So he created crawling creatures
    That all mankind would shun.

    First he made the rattlesnake
    With it's forked poisonous tongue.
    Taught it to strike and rattle
    And how to swallow it's young.

    Then he made scorpions and lizards
    And the ugly old horned toad.
    He placed spiders of every description
    Under rocks by the side of the road.

    Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
    Hotter and hotter still.
    Until even the cactus wilted
    And the old horned lizard took ill.

    Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
    As any creator would
    He chuckled a little up his sleeve
    And admitted that it was good.

    'Twas summer now and Satan lay
    By a prickly pear to rest.
    The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
    So he took off his coat and vest.

    "By Golly," he finally panted,
    "I did my job too well,
    I'm going back to where I came from,
    Texas is hotter than Hell."



Author unknown